while shepherds watched

just saw my first christmas play with caleb. he played a shepherd with his best pal and partner in crime, toby.

i can't tell you how excited i have been about this. not sure what you can expect with regards to acting prowess with 2.5 yr olds.

the show lasted 13 minutes. the head teacher stated in her memo to parents: "The performance lasts approximately 13 minutes, which you can imagine is sufficient time for 48 very young children!"... Indeed.

i came back a very proud papa... :)

paper bags

we ran a simulation, based on the lives of those living in slums, at a nearby school. we ran 5 sessions of this paper bag making sessions to year 9 students.

we were invited as part of the school's freedom and human rights week.

the game was there to demonstrate the economic slavery of the poor.

as part of the briefing process i asked the question: what do you think are the differences between work and slave labour?

the common answer i received was: it is about your will: one is voluntary the other is forced. the remainder of the game allowed the kids to strip away their decision and will-making process and become at the utter mercy of circumstance. principally their impoverished situation.

it is quite a powerful game and we witness some fairly funny, horrific and crazy decisions that the participants made out of utter desperation to just simply survive.

decluttering

i am amazed at how losing furniture and junk can change one's outlook.

i am a hoarder. i like to keep things.

space, however, is something i aspire to have more of. on the one hand there is more space to have more things, but on the other it is to feel a degree of freedom. freedom from things and clutter.

i'm realising that the cost of things and the value of freedom from things. tyler durden's words ring vividly in my ears: "things you own end up owning you"

how much of it do i actually need... how much do i use.

mostly, in my "hoarder's mind", it brings comfort through the very thought of it being near.

it's time to turn over a new leaf and do what is best... i moved it to the attic.

out of sight...

snow

it snowed yesterday. albeit for a morning only before there was no trace left.

we managed a walk out in it. twas beautiful.

felt hopeful about a white christmas.

enterprise

this week- apart from sharing the room with the prime minister, assist with a social change event with the entrepreneurs of the next generation, take on a new volunteer, meet some of the trustees and plan for the coming year... i did something... wait... i saw something that just turned me into a child, uncontrollably excited about the future.

the marketing gurus got it right. and this is the bit where i potentially lose some street cred... i saw the latest star trek movie trailer. i was quivering watching it.

i grew up on re runs of trek. monday nights to be specific. you see i had poor health as a kid and while my brothers used to get to go to clubs and scouts, my mum and i used to watch the rockford files, star trek and later on blue thunder, manimal (pretty much your seminal 80s american tv shows). my mum and i loved watching trek. we'd sit snuggle in on the couch and watch kirk save the galaxy, spock recount the odds and bones vent his frustration.

so when i hear people talking about trekkies as nerds and trekkies as the weirdos trying to learn the grammatical correctness of the klingon language... it saddens me.

don't they know it's "trekkers".

peace one day

today i was at an event called chain reaction.

it's an event based on the premise that we can't create change by ourselves, but we can do it together. it's designed to connect, collaborate and commit.

i sat there listening to jeremy gilley, founder of peace one day stating that ideas need energy and passion. from what started with anger and frustration with the way things are led to a reaction. this, then, triggered a series of events and connections that went on to create a day that is declared an annual day of peace by the un and the governments of the world.

i thought, it seems great, but is it a gimmick. the cynic in me spoke.

... but he went on... to say that he heard those questions and went on to find out what this day of peace actually means... is it a gimmick... well this one day has enabled charities and un agencies to scale up and gain access to troubled areas for vaccination programmes. it allows the opportunity to reach places that are political hotspots and have carried threats of bombs, attacks and gunfire to cease. it is more eloquently put here.

very soon i begin to realise that a day can be a long time and much can be achieved.

footy game

i am uncontrollably excited. it's a little immature really.

we just won a game of football. it's a fundraising game at our church. the oldies vs the youngsters. i'm not one the youngsters.

we have played about 4 or 5 times before and to date we have been runners up on all occasions.

this time, however, we got the edge. after being 2- nil down in the first half. we got it together... plus i got on the score sheet with a beauty, chipping the keeper... magic :)

obama fever

well i've been swept away by the obama fever.

i even spoke to people who have been to breakfast parties with o(ba)m(a)lettes... hmm

but what i have after the whole fiasco is hope. hope that a new era is coming, hope that people can make a difference and hope that change is coming. i'm guessing that this maybe as good as it gets with regards to politics and from now on we'll be seeing a decline in policy and perhaps more of the same frustrations as before.

but when i read of 10,000+ people hearing the call and giving up their time and effort, unpaid, to try to bring about change in the states through talking to people. millions. millions of voters and even the billions of the world getting quite involved in this political contest, you can't help but be affected.

my pal, the angry african, sums it up all too well here: http://angryafrican.net/2008/11/04/crying-and-alone-in-my-room/

i didn't think change was going to happen. now all i keep hearing is the words of sam cooke ringing through my ears... it's been a long time coming indeed.

lebanon#10: fatherless

we visited the home of hope orphanage in beirut today.

based on the outskirts of the city. on a hill. overlooking the city all the way to the mediterranean. stunning location.

here lived anywhere between 20 to 170 children that have been referred onto the centre. the children (defined as between 3 to 18 year olds) have been found on the streets, been know to cause troubles. many are half syrian and are a testimony to the impact of the occupation.

the word "orphanage" is not one that those working in these community and social programmes like to use. instead this is called a "home".

the children have anywhere up to 2 years in this place before they are moved on. this place aims to give heathcare, education and love whilst within their care.

i've been to a number of "homes", like these, in my time. some have been horrific others breaming with hope.

we just spent over an hour speaking with the founder. he's certainly a passionate character.

as we moved down we interrupted lunch hour. 30-40 kids having lunch. they were wearing similar clothes and munching on their grub.

naturally they were curious with the visitors. i talked to two lads, who were trying to talk english to me, and very well i might add. they wanted me to laugh with them and i naturally talk about liverpool fc. the international language of football. it doesn't work, but i do notice that one of them was sitting on a stash of recorded dvds. so we look through them, laugh at the pictures, find out which one they like best. the ice was broken.

before long they wanted to fight me. playfully of course. we settle for an arm wrestle (i spend a long time to try and avoid fighting and getting my boys to not do so)... but boys they are.

a few other lads comes over. one thrusts two stones in my hands and gets me to hold them together and then does an array of circles around my hands with some other stones and before i know it my hands are, by magic, stuck together. we laugh. we smile. we leave.

my heart drops as we walk away.

i've been to many "orphanages", never once have i walked away unaffected.

Lebanon #8: Every tattoo tells a story

1.
I notice that one of our drivers has a tattoo on his arm. At lunch I asked him about it. Problem number one- he doesn’t understand a word of English. Thankfully, my host, Dennis, fluent in Arabic, was near by to lend his services.

It’s a dragon tattoo. Pretty cool.

On his other arm was another a tattoo: this was of a heart with a dagger through it. I asked him about it, via Dennis. He tells me it is of troubled love. I asked was it about him. No... not him. He goes on to mention his girlfriend. Her father will not let them be together. You see he is a driver and this is a dangerous job.

The father is a well educated man and even a man within education. He should know better. Even the mother has not condoned their relationship.

The daughter has lamented and vented at her parents. She once starved herself and locked herself in her room for several weeks. They only could speak to her via her widow. She has even stated that she would prefer death than be without him. Real Romeo & Juliet stuff.

Currently the father has said that he will decide in 2 months what the outcome will be... whether he will grant his blessing or not. The two months will be up in January.

I asked him to let me know the outcome.

Lebanon #7: Conservation Work

I once heard Sir Ghillean Prance, visionary for Kew Gardens and the Eden Project, speak. I remember how I was moved by his words. Somehow I mentioned it to a friend and I somehow got enrolled into an Eco scheme.

It was eye opening.

Now here I am in Lebanon, listening to a man called Chris Naylor speak about the hopes to get Lebanon thinking about conservation and bringing the people in touch with their environment. It is somewhat odd in a country where there seems to be little hope that people would take pride in their land.

After hearing him speak it was like going back and showing the people that they have a rich legacy. One too be proud off, not just because of its political value, but of the natural or environmental value. That it allows a place of resting for migrating birds, that many can walk around and see the hills around a place that can be restored. I was impressed.

Lebanon #6.5: Baalbeck

1.AA temple that is truly wonderous in this biblelands territory and persevered well over the centuries.

It’s like stepping onto the set of Jason and the Argonauts. Sword in one hand waiting for the legion of skeletons about to arise from the ground.

Lebanon #5: Inside a Palestinian Refugee Camp

In 1948 the Palestinians fled their region due to the Arab-Israeli war. Hundreds of thousands of people were forced out. Many went north over the boarder into Lebanon. The hope was, that someday they would return home.

It is now 60 years later. Over 395,000 refugees are living in Lebanon and still waiting to go home.

Over 10,000 refugees live in Al Bass refugee camp in Tyre. It is a condensed camp. Interestingly built around a hospital. The Lebanese soldiers do not go in. They hover, instead, around the entrances at their checkpoints. Around the edges are high houses with barbed wire around them.

I am told the reason is that there is supposed to be no commercial or building activity to go on from within the camp. This is clearly not the case.

We went in. I was, naturally, nervous.

Inside there were narrow lanes, a few vending shops nearby. The roads inside were remarkably well kept. The houses meagre, yet homely. There were young guys on their motor bikes. A school. A brand new PLO centre (new building materials are not, by any means, allowed inside!) Students on the sides of the roads shouting hello. This camp was... it was very pleasant. The atmosphere was quite peaceful. We saw mechanics at work, kids smiling and even a small electric vendor with some IT equipment. This was not what I was expecting.

80% unemployment. But my guide tells me that the 20% that do work ensure that they feed their families, their friends and beyond.

The two Palestinians that meet me sit down and start to speak speak. They share that all they would like is for the recognition of their human rights and would like... to go home.

Lebanon #4: tinker, tailor, soldier, spy

Just had lunch next to the spice souq (market) in Tyre, Lebanon.

As we were sitting eating our falafel a man with a moustache, comes and sits on the table behind us. As Jerry gets up and takes a photo of us, he moves away. After the photo op is over he sits back down behind us again.

Later Jon mentions that it was highly likely that he is from the secret police listening into our conversations.

Lebanon#3: Muslim Women

Muslim women are great fun.

Or perhaps I should rephrase, in my experience of muslim women, they are great fun. At the our hosts house yesterday I was really struck by the fact that it was the women who were taking over. Once the welcoming and traditional honouring of guests with teas and drinks came we settled into a great bustle of jokes, laughing and talking that was all from the women.

It maybe that one of our party was a chiropractor and had treated a lady for her bad back. But it was the mother who was babbling away with wonderful animation and humour. Her daughters who were leading the chats and sub points and her grand daughters who were making any attempts to speak in English to us.

Simply put, the ladies of this muslim household were great fun :)

Lebanon #2: Bananas, Terrorists and Roberto Carlos look alikes

I am in Lebanon as I type this. I am here to be “exposed” to business ventures that are seeking to aligning themselves with development priorities (job creation, social justice, transportation, health, education etc.).

After attending one of their conferences I was convicted that I needed some field experience and here I am in the southern town of Tyre.

My goal here is simple: observe.

Lebanon, in 2006, was invaded by neighbour Israel. After 34 day assault and bloody battles, embarrassment, thousands killed, the Israelis retreated. The devastation that they left were not just physical, but also financial, political and economical.

In disasters there are what is known as the 3R stages: Rescue, Relief and Recovery phases. The first two stages are concerned with the first few months. The Recovery phase is about rebuilding towns, villages, infrastructure and stability. This last stage is often not seen as disaster work, but it is perhaps, arguably, the most important. I wont go into vast details, but to illustrate this phase: there’s no point rebuilding a school when a hurricane has taken the roof off only for it to happen again. It would be better to rebuild to prepare for such eventualities.

I’m here visiting an NGO called MRDS that are seeking to operate in these manners. I wanted to find out how recovery projects/efforts actually form and speak to the practioners and the businessmen that are seeking to rebuild.

Today I visited a Banana Plantation grower, his business has suffered. Not only has his product decreased in value by 50%, his overheads have gone up exponentially, and he have a distinct lack of opportunity as the government are only allowing him to sell his goods to Syria and with limited selling capacity in Lebanon itself.

We went round his plantation. We went round his house that he built himself talked politics and we even we went round his brother’s house whose son had just got engaged to celebrate.

Some delicious Lebanese sweets were brought to us (simply divine in taste). We laughed and I even got likened to Roberto Carlos. I opted against retorting about his legendary banana kick technique to the banana farmer.

This was supposed to be the dangerous south. Where the people are terrorists. Instead all I see are people trying to make a living.

Here I was in a muslim man’s brother’s house who supports a supposedly terrorist group, yet has named his son, Isa (meaning Jesus), has pictures of his dead family that were killed in war by Israel and looking for ways to make his business work. I certainly feel some of my muslim preconceptions being challenged.

Lebanon #1: Lebanese Sweets

Lebanese sweets never really registered with me. They look rich, probably too rich and a bit odd in appearance for my liking. You see I’ve been brought up on Indian sweets and I have often found them incredibly rich and a bit too much for my palette. This is not to say that I don’t like them, but rather I do have to be in a state of preparedness to eat them.

So here I am in Lebanon, in Tyre to be precise, feasting my eyes on piles of assorted yummies. Pastry: check. Nuts: check. Syrup: check. Am I salivating: check.

Whilst we didn’t buy any of these I had heard several descriptions about the sensual explosions and bringer of delight that these small foods have brought about... as a result I quickly revised my opinion: I need to consume one, some, or perhaps, maybe many of these sweets very soon. Did I mention the salivating?

#12: Global Crisis

It’s pretty hard to escape the “global financial crisis” that is going on. Every day I’m reading about the whether the markets are recovering about rescue packages and speculation over the future.

I don’t really understand the finer details, but recognise that the world is on tenterhooks.

There is a part of me that hopes the world will change and not simply aim to restore itself to the world we are used to. That each country can reclaim, relearn and redeem its ability and desire to sustain itself whilst recognising that the world is interconnected and that its sustainability is entwined with this process.

I guess it’s having a dual citizenship: one to the planet and one to your host country.

I don’t know how sound this is economically, financially or even conceivably, but it seems to make sense in my little brain to do so.

I continually hear about sustainability and one planet mentality being espoused. But it seems to be more aspirational rather than achievable.

I just see a window for the world for change in my lifetime.

#10: Ray Avenell

I want to tell of someone who has actually been somewhat an angel in disguise.

I first heard of Ray Avenell in 2004, when in a meeting with Blythswood Care. They said I should meet with him to discuss how to raise support for GH.

Over the years Ray has humbly offered his help to fund, gather support and be a buddy to GH. He’s given me gifts for the children. Gifts for our house and always been there giving.

He’s now out here with us in Hong Kong on a fact finding mission to see how he can help more.

It was his words that prompted the Kent Police to give us a property to use (another entry on this is coming).

I am in awe of such a kind hearted, giving person. Blythswood really have a reputation of spawning humble and powerful advocates.

Not only that, but Caleb adores him :)

#9: Respite

Respite comes in various forms. Ours was time to stroll down to the beach, to be child free, to enjoy a beer and talk through the many lows and few highs of the day.

By the end of the few hours we got. We were smiling and recharged.

#8: the wedding

today we won the worst parents in the world award.

I am glad that today is over. I am glad that as I type this the kids are asleep and everyone is partying. I am glad too that we can cower away in the refuge of this lovely apartment.

Today was the wedding day. A day centered around Steve & KT. Man did they and all the party look great and it was a beautiful day filled with celebration and joy.

We, however, got to see and take part in very little of it. You know those times when you’re out and you see howling children and parents losing it with their kids. The families that are always telling their children off. The families that you try to make conscious, or subconscious efforts, to avoid. Well that was us.

We could feel every stare and heard every word of sympathy as a painful stab into our souls as we hung our, inward, heads in shame.

I can’t really put my finger on what it was that happened. Yes it could be the little sleep they had after a really exciting day yesterday. Yes it could be the extreme waiting (1 hour for the bride to turn up) that weddings hold. Yes it could be that some stood on Caleb. Or even yes it could be the fact that we were at the mercy of transportation held for us and the lack of a quick getaway. But I rather think it was our inability to cope with the situation.

Ground open up and swallow us now.

#7: A Garage Story

Sometimes there are points when you simply have to smile and say “Thank You!”

Today was one of those times.

Not only did we get to go to Hong Kong Disneyland, we also managed to have a prayer answered.

A man & a little boy, who we don’t even know the names of have just delivered a garage with a set of cars at our apartment.

We don’t know them let alone know that they had this beautiful toy set.

But they dropped it off with the simple words “we thought your boys would like to play with this. Enjoy.”

As they left Angie was there with a glisten in her eyes and a huge smile. She later disclosed that the other day she had said a quiet prayer that the boys could have something to play with. In particular she had requested specifically whether this could be a garage and some cars.

Thank you. :)

#4: HK Humidity

Dang, it’s hot here.

If I were saying this back in Tunbridge Wells I would be telling myself to count my blessings as I would be yearning to escape the rain, cold and wet.

Yet here I am avoiding the sun.

#3: Jet Lag

What time is it?

Must have asked myself this a hundred times in the few hours that I’ve been here.

I don’t know if it’s the mental arithmetic that you have to do in your head, the constant working out of which way to add or subtract the hour difference, or even just the curiosity to know what you would be doing at an equivalent time back home. But from a man whose life seems to be governed by the big and little hands of our forth dimensional friend I find myself grappling with this question.

But seriously, what time is it?

#2: A blissful moment

So here I am on the beach with my wonderful family enjoying the view, the sand, the sun, the sea and the beach.

You can eve see the planes coming into land… it looks and feels all good.

(i'll be attaching a photo once i get my shots onto the camera- watch this space)

#1: Up, up in the sky

After getting to the airport, finding the parking lot, transfer to airport whilst admiring the overpassing planes, eventually getting to the counter it transpired that joshie didn’t have a ticket. A small oversight. I’m so pleased that we agonised over the decision where to place joshie and whether to get a seat or not or how to transport him, the wait the ten minute wait (twice) to speak to an operator in the airline to enquire about traveling with kids to check how to fit him in a bassinet and the actual booking of one after carefully calculating his weight eventuated in a chap saying to me: “oh, he’s not got a ticket”

We got our boarding tickets eventually and an unexpected, but welcomingly, we met another wedding guest, Stevie, a groomsman, en route to honkers.

Caleb & Joshie had been loving the airport. It was all new and constant wonders for them to gaze at- buggies, luggage trolleys, conveyor belts, escalators, neon and people.

Once into the departure lounge we met on-duty Jonny. Had a quick cuppa. Caleb kindly spilt his smoothie over Jonny’s jacket. He fought the law…

On the plane, we were let on first due to the kids and then the awe came back. But as did the urge to run around. By this time they were both shattered. I thought this is it. My nightmare is about to come true: two over tired kids, an eleven hour full flight and the eyes of an entire plane pressing upon you. The prospects were not good.

Joshie didn’t like being strapped in at all. Arching his back. Crying. But it didn’t last.

Caleb, once we were airbourne was fidgeting and felt like a caged animal. But it didn’t last.

After the meal Joshie fell asleep. For Caleb it took a little longer. Principally cause he couldn’t get comfy. I don’t blame him.

The one thing that struck me was: this plane is actually really noisy. It was the engines. When the kids did cry. Yeah you could hear them, but only just and those who were not plugged into their entertainment systems probably didn’t hear a thing.

Caleb got 6 hours and Joshie 5.5 hours kip and the coming down was without incident. The only drama was the coordinating their meals and our meals- which was simple: they eat and then when they’re done we get our bite after.

We arrive in Hong Kong and after all that worry we both sigh with relief and are utterly thankful that we are here and through phase 2.

Oh and Joshie turned 1 today… gosh, this time last year we were… wow :)

nervous

today's the day we fly.

i've done this before. angie has done this before. caleb has even done this before.

but we've never done this before: 12 hours on a plane crossing 8 hours of time zones, attempt the already difficult task of sleeping in the flying bird with little ones, taking joshie on a plane, fly as a family, all this and more.

nervous? ... very.

there's is comfort from the fact that we're not the first to do this. there is comfort from the tips that we have read. there is even comfort from the prayers promised to us.

whilst i am really excited about hong kong, the fun, the wedding and work... did i mention that i'm nervous?

marriage course: forgiveness

angie & i have recently been doing the marriage course.

it came about after we were invited to go on it and one of our good friends, just recently completed their course jumped in and said how amazing it was and even offered to baby sit.

we, after some time, said why not. it would be great to spend some evenings looking at marriage, our marriage and talking to one another. it certainly would be good to get some time out.

usually get a little skeptic about these "help" type groups and went in thinking yeah this will just be a dos as we've got it sorted.

we're in week 4 and already we're discovering some hard truths about issues that we've left latent.

last night we were hearing about the power of forgiveness in your relationship. how it is not a feeling, about justice or even a right. rather it is a choice and act of will. also we were reminded that it is costly act and one that isn't a simply just a cure or instant remedy.

what i did hear was that whilst it is not a cure, it is a place for where rebuilding and recovery can start and a place where letting go of hurt can happen.

the lady, Sue B, who leads on this course shared this phenomenal reading of a holocaust victim meeting with one of her former tormentors in a church and is faced with a choice of forgiveness or holding onto her hatred that has defined her for so long:

It was in a church in Munich where I was speaking in 1947 that I saw him--a balding heavyset man in a gray overcoat, a brown felt hat clutched between his hands. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat, the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones.

Memories of the concentration camp came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights, the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor, the shame of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister's frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment of skin.

Betsie and I had been arrested for concealing Jews in our home during the Nazi occupation of Holland. This man had been a guard at Ravensbruck concentration camp where we were sent.

Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: "A fine message, fraulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!"

It was the first time since my release that I had been face to face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze.

"You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk," he was saying. "I was a guard there. But since that time," he went on, "I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fraulein--" again the hand came out--"will you forgive me?"

And I stood there--and could not. Betsie had died in that place--could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?

It could not have been many seconds that he stood there, hand held out, but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.

For I had to do it--I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. "If you do not forgive men their trespasses," Jesus says, "neither will your Father in Heaven forgive your trespasses."

Still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. "Jesus, help me!" I prayed silently. "I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling."

And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.

"I forgive you, brother!" I cried. "With all my heart!"

For a long moment we grasped each other's hands, the former guard and former prisoner. I had never known God's love so intensely as I did then.

illness

tis the season for illness.

caleb & joshie have been fairly ill this past week. :(

it sucks when they're ill. caleb, usually, mr hyper, is snuggling up under a blanket watching tv snuggled in on angie's lap.

it made me recall back to my days of being ill. mum would leave me snuggled up on the sofa and allow me to watch tv. occasionally i'd get up and make a colonial viper or x-wing out of the lego that she had brought down for me to play with. it was sad that often she had to leave me to work.

mummy and papa used to always pamper me. i recall when i left home to go to kenya or college my one fear was falling ill and not having my mum near by to look after me.

i look down and see caleb snuggled on angie's lap. both he, and joshie, are looking to their mummy, as i did, for their comfort in those weak times.

caffeine & energy drinks

so i've been finding myself grabbing more energy drinks over the past few months than i ever have. i even once or twice resorted to caffeine tablets.

it's not so much that i like the taste. rather the boost it could give me.

energy drinks are legal in this country as is coffee.

from my understanding of addiction, the treatment is centered on the addict rather than the substance.

i get the link between the two. sometimes it's easier to go on what you are used to than to stop

i guess i'm just tired.

a mad rush

if ever you have a passports that need renewing, do it a year before their deadline. do not wait till the last two weeks. and do not do 3 at the same time with the same deadline. if, however, you do wish to cut it fine then this is our learning for you.

first thing to do is the decision making process. in our case, i was telling angie about how i'm going to be away most of october: first in hong kong, for work and a colleague's wedding, and then later to lebanon. i had a week inbetween each. whilst giving some of the more intracate details such as where and when and the ramifications of me being away angie proposed "what if we were to come with you?". jumping on the chance i followed up with a routine "you serious?"... and then a well we better sort it out quick as i'm not sure there'll be a place for us to stay re the wedding. so we made a deal: if there was a room for us then we go. no room, no trip.

i sent a quick text to a colleague. she texted back immediately to say there was one room left (the wedding is in 3 weeks) and she's given it to us. we're going to hong kong.

the second thing to do, the bit i perhaps like less: the organising. as i'm learning when travelling with a family the whole situation is more complex: working out optimum times that the kids would sleep, their sleeping arrangements, the cost-benefit of direct/indirect flights.

i might add one big feature is the finance too. we really don't have the kind of money that this warrants to spare. but we've made the decision. but this really is another matter and i may tell it at a later stage...

we all quickly realised that the only person with a valid passport was caleb. so we had to obtain 3 passports within 2.5 weeks. the challenge is set.

after a day of form filling chasing around to get countersignatures, photographs, getting joshie to sit still through his photo shoot we managed to book an appointment to get these done with a week fast track service. [note: i did not know that you're not allowed to smile for your passport photographs until i went to the shop to get mine done]

so as i left this morning (too early) to london i realised on the train that i had left one of my ID forms behind and also we were already carrying a form with a countersignature outside the explicit no go areas on the form (the blurb states that this invalidates the form in big bold letters). so as i walk to get my tube. the announcement stated that all tubes had been canceled. dang, i had 15 mins to get across london, on foot, what would take 15 mins on tube. the likelihood that i was going to make it on time for my "set in stone" appointment. gosh.

i do what any man would. walk in the right direction. trying to catch a bus and perhaps flag a bus down. praying that i would make it i look in my wallet and i have 10 quid... is that enough for a cab?... well let's see...

after trying to cross 8 roads and heavy london traffic i manage to get a cab. the cabbie said that it would be touch n go whether i'd make the appointment but he'd try his best.

he did just that. in fact he managed to add his conspiracy theories about the "added security" across the government buildings pro bono. he made his point that we have all this security and it's really just a show. if we're going to have terrorists they'll find away. hmmm... thanks.

i got into the passport office slightly late. i was told to be there 15 minutes early to allow time for security checks. it was like an airport. x ray machines, boxes for your change and phones, security guards. they say allow 15 mins to get through security. it took me 3. phew... i am by somewhat a miracle 3 minutes early. now all we need to get through is the official and the red tape.

i wait. close my eyes and say thanks for being here in time. as i open my eyes my number gets called. i walk over to the counter.

the gentleman first spotted that my countersignature person had not included their passport details on the form. the form is invalid.

he suggested that i could make a call. worth a shot. so i phoned jonny whilst on duty at heathrow airport (he stops bad guys... can't say more as if i did...) he said he had written it on the back of a card that angie stuck in one of the envelopes. like a magician with a hat i stretched my hand inside the envelope and pulled out a card. i didn't notice it before. looked at all the scribbles of names and telephone notes and then i saw a number. it was jonny's handwriting. bingo. i write the number on all 3 forms.

now for the tricky bit. i confessed. i mentioned that one of the signatures had gone outside of the explicitly "do NOT go outside of the box" part of the form. he calmly shrugs it aside and said that it's fine. what? all that tension and nervousness about how we live in an age of terrorism and this is the governments clampdown on the citizens rooting out the bad eggs to be calmed in one second. hang on maybe that cabbie was right.

so with all that adventure and what seemed to battling the government, transport system and bureaucracy we got our 3 passports.

we're off to hong kong... now about the money... :)

no time like the present

i am finding myself desperately short of time. i have a to do list that's longer than the hours of the day and with deadlines that are all yesterday.

i keep listening to hear many people say similar things. "if only i had more time...", "there are not enough hours in the day", "we need to be guarding our time"...

personally, i'm feeling a little hard done here by the constant time factor in my life... it's not that i want more of it, but rather i feel that there's something not quite right about my, or our, perception of it. i can't put my finger on it.

a late night account

so i've been up the last few nights trying to get my head around accounts. not so much the figures stuff, but just the phenomenal terminology.

wittgenstein used to refer to language games and this is clearly the language game of accountants.

thankfully, i'm surrounded by a few people that are wiser than me that have been able to advise accordingly.

but honestly... does anyone else have problems getting past the basics... i mean real basics, like how to spell "accounts"...

konichiwa

so we met up with one of angie's old friends from her college days rie. she was over from japan with her family.

it was a fun trip up to london and some nice time of catching up and family bonding. whilst our language skills were ok... it was simply amazing to just hang out and we had such a delightful afternoon eating pizza, chasing squirrels and ducks, running around and eating yummy japanese sweets.

... oh and caleb and saki had a great time :)

smallville: the early years

little to offer

believe it or not i'm a kind of person that is quite negative about myself. i don't think i have much to offer, nor do i view myself as particularly talented.

i often have "shower moments" when i think, sometime to angie's amusement out loud, "what on earth am i doing... surely we need some professional whatsit to do this."

still being in the business of volunteering i often look around and see such latent talent. many people have said they don't know what they could do. i usually bite my lip, but think man surely it's a case of what can't you do. the sky's the limit... the world's your oyster.

i was brought up with my mother always telling me that i could do anything. yeah, mum i'm still waiting for NASA to call me up for their next trip. but i do still hold to her words and believe at somepoint i will write my book, that i will become a musician and that in the future..... hmmmm. i guess what it comes down to: my mother gave me was hope. hope that i could be that proverbial person that is not looking at the gutter, but towards the stars.

recently, i have been working with a couple of volunteers that have kindly given up their summer and i have seen them try out some pretty cool stuff. one in particular impressed me with his "can do" attitude. a willingness to throw himself into what many would deem as "scary" situations.

what amazed me was not so much his skill set, but just the sheer humility of the purpose and the will to step out of his comfort zones. he reminded me of this hope that my mum used to speak of.

... i'm pretty sure NASA are going to call tomorrow.

back to basics

having just come back from a holiday in a basic farm house in wales i am feeling somewhat "natural" or "manly".

it was a holiday where all we did was chop wood, make fires, eat & drink and hang out at beaches. no fancy museums or novelty theme parks, no zoos or other artificial entertainment venues and certainly limited mod cons.


not that i did much wood cutting nor hunting for animals albeit i did watch pete cast his fishing rod, but i went with a bunch of people and certain roles started to emerge. the fire gatherers, the cooks, the child keepers, the fire starters and the entertainers. i had heaps of fun.

caleb & joshie got to hang out with other kids and play. they loved the beach: trying to build holes, sandcastles, crab catching, climbing rocks, jumping in the sea, eating sand and swimming.

i gotta confess in the build up to the holiday i was somewhat nervous at the simplicity of the place and found myself thinking if only there was central heating or decent beds. however, in the aftermath i found that whilst the place was not a luxurious pad it was a magical place that allowed me, as a city clicker, a semi chance of getting back to basics.

already looking forward to next year :)

(here's a vid of angie & jo's b'day party that we threw for them :)

wedding season

one weekend. two weddings.

simon & esther on friday and holly & matt yesterday. both top gigs.



this is our fourth wedding of the year and we have another potential 4 to go.

usually at weddings there are some readings of love or something precious to the couple at one of these weddings was a great reading that made me smile:

“Once upon a time there was a girl I knew, who lived across the street. Brown hair, brown eyes. When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried. Every single thing that ever happened to me that mattered, in some way had to do with her. That day (we) promised each other that no matter what, that we'd always be together. It was a promise full of passion and truth and wisdom. It was the kind of promise that can only come from the hearts of the very young.” (from the Wonder Years)

loved that show... brilliant :)

gh-ers: past n present

at tom & nat's wedding on saturday i manged to have a rare reunion with some of global hand uk's previous volunteers... those who have worked with me over the years.

sadly phil vincent was not to be found and chris watts and howie murray were absent... still twas nice to see some of the old faces. :)

(from left to right: sal begbie, kate falconer, alice keen, olga k, mal begbie, tom williams, ali mcfarlane, nat williams, charlotte hails, isabel ashwell, benjy & angie)

MIA

somehow i knew this day would come. kinda like that feeling when you know something is going to end.

monkey, caleb's partner in crime for the past 12 months, has disappeared.



it was a routine trip back from the grandparents. somewhere along the terrain between the proverbial "A" and "B", monkey managed to get left behind. our family "leave no man, or monkey, behind" policy kicked in and we extended an extensive search and rescue program. to date: nada.

hope is desperately fading. memories come flooding back of all the adventures, caleb's insistence for us to pray for him every night and reminder of his inclusion in our family outfit. at first, he was just another amongst the ranks of army of cuddly toys... but he rose to the top, against fierce competition from tiger and naughty monkey.

the atmosphere in the camp is grim. principally from angie and me. i'm currently at step five in the mourning process: anger. i still believe he's out there waiting for us to rescue him...

the dilemma: should we replace him or treat this as a valuable "life lesson" of loss and remembrance?...

whatever the dilemmas, rescue mission planning and constant re-living of the sequence of events and journey to uncover any clues... the truth of the matter is: i miss him.

i have never bought a car

i've had 5 cars... and just about to get another.

they have all been of outstanding. some great "innings" and memories: the general taking me to my wedding, cruising the streets in the beemer, bringing both my children home from the hospital and constant trips . even had one nicked and then returned to me.

the one thing each of these cars have in common: they were all gifts. i have never purchased a car... at least not a full size one.

we certainly have got huge reason to celebrate these gifts and what they have enabled us to do.

now i am passing one on to our nephew in and about to receive our 6th car. all i can say is wow... WOW... we are very blessed :)

happy father's day

a few pics of the boys and me
:)

play time

i've always been an inclusive type of guy. i don't normally like to leave somebody out. if i got a party, i got to contact everybody rather than just a select few. i enjoy big crowds.

recently, we were at a somebody else's house for lunch.

it was an affair where you leave the kids to play with each other, they had 3 girls, while the adults sit around the table to chat.

we had this incredible meal where we were all together and joshie was crawling around whilst caleb was in the big chairs and eating away.

it was a lovely time trying to talk to friends and spending some lovely time over a nice meal.

then when the kids all finished they all went to play outside. well joshie continued to crawl around by our feet.

every now and again i would look outside to see what caleb was up to. hoping he wasn't ripping their garden up or abusing the girls. i always seem to have several nerves going that caleb is going to go on a war path.

as i looked out i was struck by a sight that has haunted me. it was the three girls playing away and enjoying each other thoroughly. caleb was there watching them but all by himself. the girls were ignoring him. he was trying to get on with a few things but he kept looking over to see the fun that the others were having.

instantly i wanted to run over and play with him. give him a hug. show him how how much i enjoy his company... my heart went out for him.

one time caleb did find a bat and ball to play with and one of the girls came over to ask him for it. amazingly he handed it over. it was received only to be discarded shortly after. caleb again had nothing.

there was one particular sight where the three girls were in this play house playing and they had shut the door and all i saw was caleb walking over to peer in at the window at them having a great time.

i know its just kids playing and i don't hold anyone responsible nor do i believe it was malicious or intentional, but as a dad seeing your boy isolated, alone and without love was a sight, a thought and a memory that still haunts me.

karate kid...

nice pic... but is that a shark coming out that chap's roof?.... of course

the headington shark. one i always see when we visit our friends in headington always impresses & amuses me.

bill heine, the owner said: "The shark was to express someone feeling totally impotent and ripping a hole in their roof out of a sense of impotence and anger and desperation… It is saying something about CND, nuclear power, Chernobyl and Nagasaki."

"augustus gloop"

i've been doing my best german accent for the past week saying two words only: "augustus gloop". i've been working away and muttering the words and walking round the house practicing my accents...

fyi- he's a character in charlie and the chocolate factory.

a little background: we were in oxford last weekend and i watched a bit of the film, as part of caleb's bedtime routine, and saw the scene where augustus is introduced. the impression was made. and the words were already swirling round my head.

since coming back we were again watching the film as part of caleb's bedtime... and with out prompting, caleb just turned round to me and said "gloop" in his best accent (which sounded much like his normal one save for extended vowels sounds).

now all i'm saying is "gloop" in caleb's accent.

still last month i was saying "lord farquaad" in my best dutch accent after repeat viewings of shrek as part of bedtime routines.

solanky event 2008

angie, caleb, joshua & i gave a short presentation about ourselves and the work we do at our church this past weekend.

it was a precious time of sharing the whole why we do this.

here are a few pics :)




we also showed this video about last year's Give Me Shelter (courtesy of Nat & Pete):

bank holiday weekends

for me bank holiday weekends are all about a pub lunch.

it's not so much the case anymore... having a family means that any sort of venture out is a treat... but i remember the many many monday's that i'd have in the pub, usually of nice location and preferably with beer garden, sitting in, or out, with friends enjoying some fine ales and good catch up.

i loved the pub philosophers/politicians positions that we'd assume to put the world to right... and it seemed to always be a winner and a good opportunity to gather friends in the same place.

there's something about lunchtime drinking that i'm particularly fond of. perhaps it has a different context and hence free from the "big night out" feeling.

i have many fond memories of sitting in pubs (the vine, the white hart, the thirst & last, the brasserie, the buck's head or the spotted dog) at lunch time with a few friends enjoying company and conversation over a fine ale or larger.

not sure i'll be in the pub this weekend... but still... i always think of pub lunches when there's a bank holiday weekend.

i lost it today

i'm usually a calm person but i lost it today.

as per usual i awoke. got joshie. brought him into our bedroom. realised i need to change his nappy. got nappy. forgot wipes. got wipes. changed nappy.... i could go on but you get the picture :)

eventually when we're all together on the bed, reading stories or playing, angie asks "you fancy some eggs for for breakfast?". now being a man of simple pleasure i found the prospect of a boiled egg quite egg-citing.

so i went down and started to get to work. we had been given an egg measure for boiled eggs, amusing titled "egg-xactly", and worked out the timings. got the soldiers ready.

eggs on the egg cups and then off to serve breakfast. as i walked up the stair to the dining room my foot trailed. i slipped and one of the eggs went flying onto the floor. splat.

all that hard work, all that egg-citement and all that hunger crashed and turned into anger. anger that i screwed up. anger that i've got to start again or give up.

i lost it... and kicked the cupboard in frustration.

caleb ran in and saw the egg and got very egg-cited. angie salvaged the food as not much was damaged. i had had enough and gone off it whilst caleb was stoked to be eating papa's food.

whilst i was feeling sorry for myself... the people around me were picking up the pieces and turning it into a feast.

egg-cellent. (i hope you're not thinking that this blog entry is a blatant egg-scuse for getting egg puns in)

preparation...

we try once a year to hold an event where angie & i explain a little bit about what we do and, importantly, why we do it.

already we have a number of supporters who help us in so many wonderful ways... it is our pleasure to say thank you and give an update of the work and ourselves.

additionally, we find that many people would like to know more.

we're holding this year's event at st john's church, tunbridge wells at 2 pm this coming saturday.

it's always an emotional time for me as i prepare because i'm overwhelmed with gratitude. as i sit and write i realise that many have encouraged and got behind us as a family. they believe in what we do, they believe in enabling us to do what we do... they have partnered with us.

as i reflect upon the hard and the blessed times that we have experienced, i still cannot believe that we've survived... but we have and we've got a lot to be thankful for. the miracle of partnering has been a powerful one in our lives and something that we promote passionately about professionally.

caravan-ing

we have just returned from a few days at a caravan site.

some friends from our church not only lent it to us, but also towed it down, paid for our time and supplied us with some great yummies. i don't know what we did to deserve such grace, but we're utterly thankful and it was an interesting experience into the art of living in a confined space.

the thing that you immediately notice is all the facilities within the caravan. the fridge, heating system, the beds and the kitchen... all incredible and have a real gasp factor.

i have a confession here. i suffer from camping envy. whenever i have been on camping expeditions or in the great outdoors i have always taken precious little (the laws for packing take a whole new dimension and i still haven't cottoned on to this) and seem to be surrounded by those with amazing insights and preparedness for the elements.

but.... but, i didn't pack. and thank God too as we had pretty much everything even down to a Cafetiere... i was a happy camper, or caravan-er, this time.




oh and we had a great time :)

voting

we just voted. we all walked up to the local polling booth at st luke's church round the corner.

it's local election time. we had three candidates from the liberal democrats, the green party and the tories.

i'd read their leaflets apart from the green who didn't really inform us of their policies by the usual leaflet drop (perhaps this was deliberate).

found myself disinterested in anything that they had to say and failed to understand how these people are serving to represent me... the main things we were being asked to vote on seemed to be about education or recycling. both important issues and i was wondering about local poverty, community and family breakdown and employment.

i was still undecided on the candidates. so i whispered to caleb who was with me who i should vote for... he answered, resoundingly, "caleb".