Lord Tebbit devised it and it was dubbed as the 'cricket test' for British Indians to test them on where they really place their alliances.
The test was simple, answer this question: who do you support in in cricket match between India & England.
This was how I, and many British Indians, were to be teased out. It was the shibboleth. I even remember being asked it a fair few times over the years by friends and those around me.
The answer was different too. It depended on whether I'd be accepted or not or when I didn't care how I'd be received. But every time it did feel like a test.
Whichever answer I gave I lost.
I felt the failure and the one who let down a part of their identity. If the answer was England it was the shunning of my Indian heritage and if it were India it was to the loss of my identity connection with the (more often than not British or White) asker and the country that I was brought up in and associate myself with. The real answer was: both and none. It was never one or the other. The casualty of this question, however was always the same, it was always my perceived loyalty. The wound of betraying my identity and the shame of publicly denying who I am.
So when the top guy, my host, part of the top Pakistani families and fairly familiar with the political scene, talks to me, he has a playful tone. Lots of witty anecdotes and a lot of conversation around the Indian-Pakistan history and tensions between the countries. I try my best to demonstrate that I'm not like the others and actually don't have a problem with this. I even managed to express my desire for there to be replaces the state of rivalry with one of friendship. Was I chancing my arm properly? I really wanted him to not label me as every other Indian he'd met. I wanted to prove to him I'm not like them. I was hoping that this would be a moment of peace between us. My proverbial arm outstretched. A kind of "I'm an Indian but I'm ok. I don't hate Pakistanis".
He then hit me with the question: "Yes. Yes, but who would you support in a game of cricket between India & Pakistan?"
Instinctively I replied India. He replied "There you go"
I'm labelled. Enter the failure hangover.
The test was simple, answer this question: who do you support in in cricket match between India & England.
This was how I, and many British Indians, were to be teased out. It was the shibboleth. I even remember being asked it a fair few times over the years by friends and those around me.
The answer was different too. It depended on whether I'd be accepted or not or when I didn't care how I'd be received. But every time it did feel like a test.
Whichever answer I gave I lost.
I felt the failure and the one who let down a part of their identity. If the answer was England it was the shunning of my Indian heritage and if it were India it was to the loss of my identity connection with the (more often than not British or White) asker and the country that I was brought up in and associate myself with. The real answer was: both and none. It was never one or the other. The casualty of this question, however was always the same, it was always my perceived loyalty. The wound of betraying my identity and the shame of publicly denying who I am.
So when the top guy, my host, part of the top Pakistani families and fairly familiar with the political scene, talks to me, he has a playful tone. Lots of witty anecdotes and a lot of conversation around the Indian-Pakistan history and tensions between the countries. I try my best to demonstrate that I'm not like the others and actually don't have a problem with this. I even managed to express my desire for there to be replaces the state of rivalry with one of friendship. Was I chancing my arm properly? I really wanted him to not label me as every other Indian he'd met. I wanted to prove to him I'm not like them. I was hoping that this would be a moment of peace between us. My proverbial arm outstretched. A kind of "I'm an Indian but I'm ok. I don't hate Pakistanis".
He then hit me with the question: "Yes. Yes, but who would you support in a game of cricket between India & Pakistan?"
Instinctively I replied India. He replied "There you go"
I'm labelled. Enter the failure hangover.
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