i've always been an inclusive type of guy. i don't normally like to leave somebody out. if i got a party, i got to contact everybody rather than just a select few. i enjoy big crowds.
recently, we were at a somebody else's house for lunch.
it was an affair where you leave the kids to play with each other, they had 3 girls, while the adults sit around the table to chat.
we had this incredible meal where we were all together and joshie was crawling around whilst caleb was in the big chairs and eating away.
it was a lovely time trying to talk to friends and spending some lovely time over a nice meal.
then when the kids all finished they all went to play outside. well joshie continued to crawl around by our feet.
every now and again i would look outside to see what caleb was up to. hoping he wasn't ripping their garden up or abusing the girls. i always seem to have several nerves going that caleb is going to go on a war path.
as i looked out i was struck by a sight that has haunted me. it was the three girls playing away and enjoying each other thoroughly. caleb was there watching them but all by himself. the girls were ignoring him. he was trying to get on with a few things but he kept looking over to see the fun that the others were having.
instantly i wanted to run over and play with him. give him a hug. show him how how much i enjoy his company... my heart went out for him.
one time caleb did find a bat and ball to play with and one of the girls came over to ask him for it. amazingly he handed it over. it was received only to be discarded shortly after. caleb again had nothing.
there was one particular sight where the three girls were in this play house playing and they had shut the door and all i saw was caleb walking over to peer in at the window at them having a great time.
i know its just kids playing and i don't hold anyone responsible nor do i believe it was malicious or intentional, but as a dad seeing your boy isolated, alone and without love was a sight, a thought and a memory that still haunts me.
