Dang! I put the wrong fuel in today.

Dang! I put the wrong fuel in today.

It wasn’t even my car. It was a hire van. Three people had volunteered to help pack in. One has cancer; another has his wife being treated for cancer. They gave up a lot to be there. The mission tomorrow is to help 150 people empathise with extreme poverty — specifically the currently 831 million people living on under $3 a day.

That didn’t seem to mean anything as I was trying to put unleaded into the van. All I was thinking was, why isn’t this working properly? It’s going to take me an age to fill the tank. I had a meeting with a school chaplain who was trying to help 1,200 people grow their hearts of compassion with the charity in just over an hour. I hadn’t eaten all day, as we were caught up with picking up the van and then getting the right team in place. I was irked that the hire place had the wrong van for us (there was a problem with the returned van and they needed a tyre mechanic to come out). I couldn’t wait. Time was a luxury I didn’t have.

I had two attempts at fuelling, as it kept cutting out. I only put in 7 or 8 litres. I had to pay, and upon returning for round three, it hit me. DANG!

Dang indeed. What a wally. Why now? I’m an idiot. The cycle was starting… usually with an expletive under my breath and then a barrage of self-flagellation.

I was queuing up and then said to the person behind the counter, “I’ve just put the wrong fuel in.” I wasn’t expecting them to say anything, as I was paralysed and about to bring on the self-berating. I sighed and huffed.

The lady in front turned to me and said,

“It’s OK. Take a moment. Breathe. It’s not as bad as you are thinking right now. Can I help you?”

She stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t know what to say. She offered me counsel right there — interrupted that cycle of self-loathing.

One of the people in the garage said not to turn the engine on, as it would flood the engine.

I went out, called the roadside assist number, and set the help mechanic in motion. That lady came back out and said, “Can I take you anywhere or get you anything?”

I was then told that I needed to wait by the vehicle until the AA came — and it would be around 1–2 hours, as it involved another subgroup that deals with fuelling.

As I waited, I took the call with the chaplain. The usual pleasantries start with “How are you?” I shared, “Well, I’ve seen better days,” and went on to explain. She just said, “Can I pray for you?” There, sitting in the cab of a Luton van, waiting for a roadside fuel mechanic, I was prayed for by a chaplain 30 miles away.

Then my son turned up. He had a freshly made bagel and a flask of tea. He sat with me and we caught up for 30 minutes, then went off. Twenty minutes later, the mechanic came and drained the fuel. He said I was lucky, as he nearly didn’t come today — it was kind of time for him to call it a night — but he thought he could squeeze one more person in (and I was relatively nearby). He said I was also lucky that I didn’t start the van. He said it should be OK: just fill her right up, then to avoid vapours, wait until she’s half full and refill to the top again.

Strange day. Somehow, among all that happened, help found its way to me through a series of encounters with “angels”.

POSTSCRIPT:

As I went to pay for the fuel (the whole tank one). The two chaps at the garage said. You want the good news or bad news. "Well the Bad News is ... you put the wrong fuel in again".... "The good news is it's a joke!". 

Too soon? 

Nah, I did laugh...

Some Summer 2025 photo

A strange summer as we had our first holiday not-whole-family thing. Really strange.

Here's a few pics from summer so far!

Joshie's Baptism

Joshie got baptised this weekend!

It was such a special morning.

Here's the livestream (33.03 - Joshie’s testimony & 43.36 - his baptism)

I have never bought a car part 3

I once wrote that we have never brought a car and then we got a bigger one which incredibly was also gifted to us. To date this is still true. 

More recently, when we moved we realised that living out of town meant that we are jumping into cars a lot more. A lot more!

We've been convicted that we should try to find another car, but prohibited down to costs. With Caleb now 18 we also felt that we should be getting him driving ... my mum insistent to gift him the driving lessons having put all me and brothers through it wanting to pass it on. Joshie is only weeks away before being eligible himself to start learning.

When asked recently by the board of EA what our current needs are, I said a smaller more economical run around car would be incredible.

It turned out there was one that was looking for a 'good home'. But what was more special was it was from the lady who first housed a family fleeing Uganda in 1972 settle in Sevenoaks. That family was my Mummy & Papa and eldest brother (just 6 months old). They stayed with this family for a while as a home was being prepared for them. During this time, they learnt about markets, where to shop how to work out the locals and have a friendly ear. Their daughter even wrote a Welcome poem for us.  A poem that I have shared many times during Empathy Action's Desperate Journeys debrief (and my papa once shared to the church that they all belonged to).

It all of a sudden feels like 'more than just a car', but a special gift (again) and one which means more to us than just a set of wheels. 

Greenbelt 2024 Pics

 

Summer 2024 photos

 

End of an era: thank you Newlands Road

It’s a rainy day. Storm Jocelyn battering the country (Scotland always seems to take the brunt of it) and tonight we listen to the whistles coming through the chimney around the log burner. Caleb games in his room. Joshie and mummy watching an episode together and Reuben doing likewise. Ezzy and I in the living room hanging out. Today, I’m counting as my last night in Newlands Road proper. I still technically have one more night. Though tomorrow will be after the packers have been in and taken out everything save for our beds and overnight bags.

Tomorrow it will be just a shell. But today, it has life and fun. 

We’ve been hear since May 2014. Nearly 10 years. But nearly 21 years in Tunbridge Wells. In two days, onThursday we move out into a new county, just 15 minutes away in Crowborough. 

It’s a miracle that got us in here and a miracle that’s got us out. And our time here has been miraculous. 

Thank you Newlands Road for

- introducing us to Ezra

- seeing our children go through primary school and into secondary 

- welcome Ezzy to St Luke’s nursery and then St John’s school

- for allowing the formation of Empathy Action

- for allowing us to host friends, family and be a have for all who walked through the doors

- for gifting us a wonderful base to be hospitable and show love

We’re grateful for you and for the ones who allowed us to grace this space… but mostly we’re grateful to the Almighty who allows us to be led, by faith, into such incredible spaces and places such as this one.

Customer Service Stories

I attempted to book a Premier Inn for a team running an immersive workshop.I thought, 'Let's try their website.' It was very helpful, but less so when making a group booking. Their advice: 'Call us to make the booking.'

So, I did. I called the hotel I wanted directly and spoke to a nicely spoken gentleman. However, as soon as I mentioned a group booking, he advised me to call their specialist line and explained he couldn't assist me. He also kindly provided me with their general booking line as a backup.

I called their specialist line, but I was greeted by an automated message that said, 'All our lines are closed. Please try again later during opening hours.' Surprisingly, it was only 12:30 in the afternoon.

I then tried their general booking lines (not specialised for group bookings, as the hotel staff member had informed me). The automated response suggested going online for a 'quicker experience' and 'best prices.' Eventually, someone answered, and I mentioned I wanted to make a group booking. He said, 'Okay,' and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I was only *just* able to make it through him because he also mentioned that he couldn't process bookings for more than 9 rooms and that those would need to be sent in by email. Luckily, I was only booking 7 rooms.

Three phone calls, nearly an email, and being told I was calling out of hours, with helpful advertising suggesting that the best way to deal with them is online.

The reality: online directed me to phone the hotel, the hotel directed me to the designated line, the designated line told me to call within their operating hours, and the non-designated line was eventually able to handle my booking but nearly had me email as I didn't fit their way of working.

This reminds me of what Matthew Taylor (ex RSA CEO) said in this tweet last Friday which read:

A little story for a wet Friday night. Near my house I found a wallet in the road. When opening it I found a bank card, some cash, a library and a youth club card. And also a front door key. The person who dropped it is 14 and could be locked out so I set out to find him….1/6

I started with massively profitable MNC @Barclays

Bank. As I’m not a customer I couldn’t use their chat bot function so I rang customer service. The recorded message said I would have to wait between 10-20 minutes. After 36 minutes the phone was answered…. 2/6

I explained the situation and gave the information on the cards. I asked the customer service person to contact the person (they have his phone number) and tell him we have the wallet and are happy to return it. We were told this ‘against protocol’…. 3/6

In vain I pointed out that I didn’t want any information or to contact the wallet owner just to reassure them and give them my details. After 15 minutes of failed persuasion and being told it would do no good speaking to someone senior I gave up. Then, plan b 4/6

I contacted the cash-strapped York library service. The lady answered the phone in less than a minute. By the time I had explained and given the boy’s library number she had already identified the boy’s mother’s email and offered to immediately contact her. A minute later…5/6

…the boy’s mum grateful phoned me and told me where to take the wallet. ‘My son is autistic so he would have been very anxious so this is such a relief’ she explained So, the result: ‘profit maximising multinational financial institution 0, cash starved municipal service 1.

Introducing a headline act...

This has got to be one of my most incredible experiences. To not only introduce an incredible and brave  headline act (Balaklava Blues.. who I first met when watching their show Counting Sheep) that is at the cultural edge in the war in Ukraine at a festival but do so with two incredible Ukrainians who took a moment to bow whilst asking for help find 50 homes for sanctuary seekers.

Here's the capture from Reuben. 

Slava Ukraini!

Last day

This could be our last day with the primary school that all our children have attended. 12 years. 4 children. And now as we face a move away from Tunbridge Wells, this could be our last day here.

It's also the last day for the current Headmaster, Dan Turvey (or Mr T for us). He sums it up when he says: 

"I would like to leave you with a final thought. As a teacher and parent of four children, I can speak with an element of hindsight! Our children are precious and it is us the adults who have been given the absolute privilege to raise them and teach them. So be kind, be patient and encourage them whenever you can, even when you feel tired and exhausted yourself. Talk to them as much as you can, read with them, sing, dance, play and enjoy being together. In these busy times, full of work, after school clubs, shopping, devices and TV, the best thing that we can do for our children is to spend time with them. You will never get it back!" 

20 year getaway... hobbity treehouse

We had the delight of celebrating 20 years in this wonderful spot for a few days with the help of a few people.

It was great fun and couldn't have come at a better time with a lot of things going on around us. Very thankful to have been able to retreat and give thanks for 20 years of together-ness and a brief pause before all that is about to happen next!

The salamander stove was great fun!