death

i find myself thinking about death recently.

it may have something to do with uncle jack passing away. having angie's mum & dad sorting out his estate and various legal matters. furthermore, one of the dad's at a dad's group yesterday told me how they lost their child during the early part of their life.

all of it saddens me. i find myself yearning to be beyond this point of mourning or contemplating this thought of death.

the vicar at uncle jack's funeral said that what we leave behind us rubs off on others around us and it is these memories and manners that are part of our legacy. these are part of "the eternal life" its not just about what happens after death for each of us.

the thing about death that bugs me is two: one it throws you off guard by bringing about feelings, thoughts that we don't want to confront and second, it is utterly natural.

both are issues that i would like to ignore or bury.

i do, however, find that the bringing together of people, the memories and stories shared turn into special bonds between us and the person but also each other and perhaps this is what the vicar was referring to regarding eternity. i once heard this being said : "... what we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived."