Thursday 26 January 2012

Tuesday 24 January 2012

David Begbie talk on TEDx

first refugee run of 2012

we had our first run today and some powerful moments. a first for me acting as an aid worker with limited resources serving immense needs within complicated circumstances (though these seem to be staples of my day to day work).

it was however, the student that came out after and i had the privilege of speaking with who shared her story of being a migrant. being on her own for 2 years after leaving a country all by herself. at the young age of 17. before, finally, being joined by her mother.

she said the loneliness of being separted from her family within the simulation allowed her to "step into the shoes" of others who have walked this journey before... and allowed her to connect with the feeling of what it maybe like to lose your home, community and identity.

she left giving me a hug and saying thank you.

Sunday 22 January 2012

Driving from a lake at the top of a mountain down through the clouds








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Location:Dorfstrasse,Küblis,Switzerland

A pizza stop in Italy

On our journey... And stopping for a Pizza en route... : )









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Location:Dorfstrasse,Küblis,Switzerland

Avalanche delays

We've been waiting about an hour due to a suspected avalanche ahead.

Once it's cleared it's a 9km tunnel and then off to Italy.


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Location:Dorfstrasse,Küblis,Switzerland

4 countries, 6 people, 9 nations represented

Today is a rest day before the refugee run commences this week. Training for the next 2 days.

It's a huge blessing to have moments of rest before a hectic schedule. This is my forth year of being involved. It's such a privilege to be here. Not only is the place just majestic in location, beauty and awe but also the people here come from the corners of the globe to congregate. I'm currently stuck in a traffic jam in Austria. There's a suspected avalanche ahead. We're on a little trek through four countries: Lichtenstein, Austria, Italy and back to Switzerland to see some castles, ice sailing, lakes, vistas and back in time for our 6pm supper as a full team joined by colleagues from further afield.

As I sit and type I work out at least 8 nations are represented in this car through the 6 people. England, India, Australia, Zimbabwe, Canada, Democratic Republic of Congo, Mongolia, Hong Kong. That's not including the other countries of refuge that some have been on.


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Location:Dorfstrasse,Küblis,Switzerland

Friday 20 January 2012

Toothless

Caleb lost a front tooth. It's his fifth one.

He took it in to, proudly, show his class.

History repeating itself

I've just spent evening unforgiven. I can't bring myself to do it.

I'm guilty and I know it.

It starts with me knowing that I'm clumsy. My dad always reminded me of it. "if benjy doesn't spill something then it's not benjy".... Later my friends would comment how I'd end up spilling a drink.

I'm clumsy. I accept it. I don't take we'll to others telling me so, but I am prone to spilling... A lot.

I also always got told off when younger about the damage I would cause.

Today Joshie through just sitting and shaking his leg caused the computer to fall. I overreacted to him. He paused and then broke into tears saying he didn't know it was there. How would he it was hidden under the table. It fell nonetheless. He was clearly upset and upset that he'd upset me. I, too, was upset that it fell.

We said sorry to each other and forgave one another too. Yet I can't seem to let go that I made him cry. So many times I wished that someone else knew my hurt at similar accidents. I lived in fear whenever something went wrong that my father would be livid with me. It feels like history is repeating itself.

Just went into their bedroom giving the usual late night kiss n touch their head and said sorry again.


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Thursday 19 January 2012

pennyless

its something that happens to someone else. you're on a train. the meeting, an important one, is where you are heading. your mind racing with words to use and ideas to convey. not even time to look out the window at the now well worn beautiful view. the ticket man strolls along with his usual shout of "tickets please" comes to you and you reach for your wallet. the ticket office was shut and machine being serviced so the strategy to buy on the train. you reach and the wallet is not in the usual pocket of preference. you try the next. the next try: your coat. both pockets empty. the only place left is the bag. a little more urgency. the search yielding the conclusion that the all important wallet is not there. the ticket man waits. he's probably seen this a thousand times. all that is left is the realisation that you are penniless.

i turned to say i'm really sorry but i don't have my wallet. he looks at me and says your going to have to get off. my timing was cutting it fine to make it to the company i was meeting. it was critical development meeting.

i slump back and realise that i have no money. i phone my brother up frantically. no signal. i wait and freeze at the reality that things are not going to work out as i had planned. all of sudden the view outside becomes real.

the people around look at me. ignoring me yet they all know what is happening. the lady across expresses empathy. her words nice but still my situation is i've got to get off and leave. the man opposite looks at me yet continues his computer work. the signal for my phone returns. i call my brother again. explain that i left my wallet behind and whether he can drop everything to meet me.

the signal cuts out again. this time its a tunnel.

the lady across says: would it help if i buy your fair? i sit expressionless. i don't know this women. everyone else has judged me. she says the words again... would you like me to get your fair?

i look down. then across to her and say... would that be ok.

she pulls out her wallet, probably in her preferred place, and given me two ten pound notes.

i say thank you. the ticket man returns. i buy the ticket it comes to £19.80. i have 20 pence left and i slip this in my pocket.

i turn to the lady give her my contact information and say again thank you and she says i hope someday someone would do the same for me.

i sit there in awe. i phone my brother back and say disaster over. don't worry... thank you being willing to help.

i thanked her again as i left and just had thankfulness in my heart that i had been looked after.

later that day as i walked around after my meeting. i had this unbelievably overwhelming urge to give that 20 pence away. it wasn't much. but it was all the money that i had. as i walked down the stairs with this urge. i saw a man sitting there. he asked the man walking up the stairs for money. he just walked on. as i passed him. i turned back to him knelt down and passed him, in his hand, the 20pence that sat in my pocket. i said a quick prayer and then walked on. i am not completely without a penny. yet it felt right.

my 2 following meetings continued and one of the persons said can i give you some money. i declined and said i have plenty right now. all that i need.


Monday 9 January 2012

A walk in the mud

Can't say I'm great with mud... But three boys loved it and made for a lovely walk.


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Monday 2 January 2012

Can't sleep

It's 3.44am and I am awake.

This seems to be coming a more frequent affair. I can't even blame anyone else.

Been up now, just over 2 hours. Back at work tomorrow after the break and it has a distinctive "first day of school" feel. The freshness of a new year with its anxieties and aspirations.

So what's the cure for insomnia... How long should I just lie here?



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Pinetum pictures

























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The honour of your father

Sigmund Freud was profoundly impacted when his father was abused whilst walking him in his younger days. His father did nothing in retaliation. The injustice haunted his son the remainder of his life.

Recently, I had my honour fought for me by my son. I was playing a friendly game with a friend. It was a remote control fork lift truck battle. The aim to tip the other fork lift over. A skillful battle indeed especially when you have a unreceptive vehicle. A young audience gathered and started to cheer us on. Then Caleb getting so involved insisted to take over. I let him. My fork lift was over turned. I lost. There was cheering and sighing.

As I threw my hands in the air acknowledging my defeat Joshie stormed in and threw the victorious fork lift down and proceeded to say in a teary, and angry, voice "papa wins!"

Whilst shocked I was also honoured that someone stood up for me. That I was cherished by someone to defend me. Even a four year old.




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