Tuesday 27 September 2011

Cousins at the park
















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Strength in adversity

Staying strong in times of adversity are real marks of character. I certainly am utterly inspired by such people and such testimony to persevering under hardship.

I recall one of my colleagues tell me of a particular time when life was just too hard and how the family stepped in to help. It was during their family singing time when the father said he could not sing the words they usually sing. The sons replied if you can't sing then stay with us and let us sing for you dad. It carried him.

When leaving the house this morning I said to our boys that we would need their help over some of these days. Joshie, without hesitation, interjected "I'll be strong for us papa". I'm inspired.


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Saturday 24 September 2011

Diary of dying pt 2

The final moments of death have been somewhat a rollercoaster. There are certain logistics of palliative care. There's the multitude of emotions. The host of family and friends that are there supporting and standing with each other. Then there's the preparation of what next.

In the past few hours I heard the words that I've been expecting for the past year.

It is over.

My thoughts right this moment are of gratitude... I'm glad that I knew, that I know, you. Goodbye mum... I'll see you later.




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Location:Taylor St,,United Kingdom

A diary of dying pt 1

"You are important because you are you and you are important to the day you die" this is a paraphrased quote from the founder of the modern hospice movement Dame Cicely Saunders. I remember hearing it and nodding in agreement as I heard it.

Our lives are precious. How we use the time that we have says a lot about each of us.

Today I sit as Joshie is swimming pondering our significance, the time we have, our legacy as we, as a family, prepare for a death.

There are several main thoughts that weave between a tapestry of others. These are some of the major threads:

1. Inevitability.
It's the 100% stat that stalks us. We all know it is going to happen. We mainly live choosing to push the thought to the back but dictates a lot of how we interact and it brings a level of fear with it. Fear can both be healthy or unhealthy. For example a healthily fear is to plan how to avoid mortality incidents through protective measures. An unhealthy example is the pursuit of the elixir of health.

2. Justice
This is twofold. First, In simplicity: Life is fair and death is unfair. Second, there is also a justness to feeling the "innings" are over and it is right for this to happen. The justice is there in eating the last spoon of the pudding and saying "thank you very much I enjoyed the meal, but now it's over". The justness comes from being rewarded for all the effort and energy to get to the last spoon of that sweet desert.

3. Finiteness
Our time is brief and has an end. The end is there and always near.

4. How we have lived
As these days come I am staggered by the love and people that have come to help. It's testimony to a person who put people before others and demonstrated this in their behaviour. The legacy was building the character in others.

5. What's next
This is twofold too. What's next for them and us. Certainly the loneliness is looming. The thought of not being near them or at the end of an email or phone. There's also a sense of hope. I've not died, nor am I God to know specifics of details. But I recognise humbly that i do not presume to know such details that only an author or creator can know.

Well time's up and off to get Joshie now.

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Location:Sandown Park,Royal Tunbridge Wells,United Kingdom

Sunday 4 September 2011

Almost home

Having some final thoughts as I lie here in bed on our final night. Been a strange journey. Grateful for being able to get away... But also I sense preparation for something ahead.

I once heard from a good doctor friend that holidays follow this pattern: you go away, there's a build up of tension and culminates into an incident, there's a confrontation and then you all relax.

He also, I might add, on another occasion, told me the price of fulfilment... But that's a secret ;)


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Location:Great Western Trail,Glen Ellyn,United States

2 pirates and their mum







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Location:Great Western Trail,Glen Ellyn,United States

Inside a limo

So just helped a limo driver turn his car and asked if we could have a look inside:














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Location:Great Western Trail,Glen Ellyn,United States

Weddings

I've been married eight and a half years. I've enjoyed it thoroughly. Not always plain sailing... But a joy to share your space, toothpaste, hopes, aspirations, failures and moments.

These days have really shown me on many ends of the spectrum of marriage how precious each moment is. From the very first moments to even those towards the end where life is fragile.

Congratulations to Jerry an Joy for the beginning of their lives.



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Location:Great Western Trail,Glen Ellyn,United States

Saturday 3 September 2011

Wedding day morning

Coffee, Waffles, ladva (traditional Indian sweet), spilling hot chocolate over bed, coffee, hotel breakfast, greeting other guests and coffee


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Location:Plainview Dr,Bolingbrook,United States

Friday 2 September 2011

Thursday 1 September 2011

Timeout

Loving having some timeout right now and enjoy some of the things I enjoy. Also I'm loving spending time dreaming of things that I may aspire to do.

A few years ago I was involved in a project that involved the idea of timeout. The time to think of things you enjoy. Time when survival and just getting onto whatever is next. All these things through a change of environment and routine.

This project was working with street children. Their time out was away from begging, thieving, being judged, pitied and being deprived of being children.

For but a short time things for them were different. A time out.

Like I say time out is a precious thing and one which I'm grateful for.


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Location:Saddlewood Dr,Glen Ellyn,United States

the wedding celebrations start§

been driving around today for the wedding coming up. caleb is a ring bearer. we tried on his suit. he looked regal. just great. not used to such glamour too as he was quite shy.

then went for the first round of partying. today it was with the guests staying at the hotel. trying to forge some bonds. tomorrow its the dancing and indian outfits. we've told caleb that its a light sabre party.

then saturday is the wedding it self

followed by a sunday of post wedding celebrations at the hotel.

... wow.

oh and there's a blessing in the UK in a few months. we, indians know how to party!